I love the following acronym for PEACE.  I think it is from Iyanla Vanzant.

P. – Please

E.- Excuse

A. All

C. Crazy

E. Experiences

When I read this, I thought it made perfect sense.  It made perfect sense because I understand that peace comes from within.  Have you ever seen somebody going through a lot of things in their life and wondered how they could go on, how they could be so calm?  It is because they possess that peace that passes all understanding.

I will know peace when …I stop finding excuses for what I am not doing or, for what I am doing and know that I should not be doing.

Not too long ago, I spoke with an eighty-something year old woman who was not at peace.  Why?  Well, because she knew that she did not do what she was supposed to do.  She was supposed to return a document by a certain date but, she did not do.

So, she left a message asking me for another copy of the document.  She was crying, could not speak properly, was beside herself.

Before I called her, I was praying to find a way not to get caught up in her story.  You see, since I sent the documents to her the last time, we spoke three times: sames questions, same answers, same explanations, same excuses.

The thing is when we don’t do something we know we ought to do, we feel guilt, we feel shame and we are not at peace.  Although we might try to find excuses why it has not been done, why it did not get done, we know deep down, that we did not do our best, we know we can be a better person: man or woman.

The previous times when I spoke with this person, I got caught up in her history, and her story. Every time I spoke with her, I felt like crying because her story is very touching.

This time, when I talked to her, it hit me.  Good habits bring peace! We really don’t change too much from adolescence to adulthood.  We don’t change because we become an adult.  We only change when we are being present in our life, when we are aware of what is happening to us and the effect of these experiences in our life, when we start paying attention.  We change when we no longer want to be in the same position, and we want to have different experiences.

I tell my niece and nephew that if they don’t start practicing good habits in their adolescent years, they will have to start eventually. We don’t just become cooks because we have reached 18 years old.  No, that’s just not the way this works, unfortunately.

Proper preparation prevents poor performance.  That creates peace.

Back to the woman.  After talking to her once again, I wondered the following:

–  What habits did she develop when she was growing up?

– How have the habits that she developed in her life served her?

– Are these habits still serving her now?

– What is she getting from the habit of crying when she did not do what she was supposed to do?  Did she get pity from other parties?  Did her crying allow her to receive some grace?

In order to not get caught in her story this time, I went straight to the point.  I stayed pleasant while showing some humanity, wished her a wonderful day & said “good bye!”

I am not really expecting an outcome different than the previous ones.  I believe the outcome will be different when this person becomes conscious of her actions and how they are affecting her.  However, I am not holding my breath but I am at peace because I know I did what I was supposed to do.